A number of my posts have focused on the weird and random things my kids say. However, I have also found myself stringing words together that are not often connected in any other context. But, then again, parenthood has its own culture and language. To a mom or dad, “don’t lick your sister” or “why are there olives on the floor” are almost cliché.

Outside of the context of parenting, such utterances might make one question a person’s sanity. And in so doing, that one would be completely justified because, let’s face it, parenthood is insanity personified. I mean who else communicates with another person by proclaiming, “No wonder you’re fussy. That’s a big poo-poo.” And in what other context would you say to another human being, “Don’t chew on the furniture.” It is only in a world occupied by the insane that you would hear someone say, “No, we don’t eat what you put on your butt.”

Years ago, while at a restaurant, I heard the woman at the next table tell her child, “There’s no crying on Sunday.” My rational, pre-parental thinking, of course, knew the insanity of this statement. First, the child to whom she was speaking was too young to understand that there are days of the week or what order they follow. Second, even if the child could grasp this concept of time, how could this woman expect her to comply with such a rule? Now that I have two children, though, I can understand the thought process behind such an illogical statement. I mean, what else is there for a parent to hold on to in the midst of the insanity? Who knows? In a world where olives are inexplicably all over the floor, such a rule might actually work.

We’ll see how things go this Sunday.